Dating Diaries - Adventures Of Billyilliam

Me: “I’m dog sitting tonight, so how about I make pizza and we watch a movie”

Date: “Sounds good”

Date turns up, had pizza – fine. Watched movie – slightly awkward but fine. Time for Date to leave, goes to the door, turns to kiss me, I AWKWARDLY dodge the kiss (really dont understand how that happened), lips land on my cheek, and I fumble into the shoulder in a kind of half hug, half ive just fallen over kind of thing.

Me: “Let me know when you are home safe”

Date: ..............................................................

Haven’t heard anything since.

This is just one story of my current disastrous run of dating.

There was once a time when I didn’t care for dating at all, I came out of a long term relationship five years ago, and I am a naturally independent soul so put all my concentration/energy into my work. However, slowly but surely, the dating side of life started to move up on the agenda. After a couple of years finding my feet in the present millennial era of dating, I finally told myself at the beginning of 2016 that I wanted to put myself out there more. Finally. I wanted to focus more energy into meeting new people and going on dates. I must say, it went so much better than I ever expected! I achieved that goal more than I thought possible, I even went on an adventure with a dating app and travelled around Europe going on the most amazing dates in different cities!

Fast forward to 2017 and a million tinder matches later.... I have to admit to myself, that I am now finding dating life a struggle. Somewhere along the way, the fun side of dating has become overcast by a more serious side – I feel like I am now at the point where I am uncontrollably judging the person sat opposite me based on marriage potential (extreme lol). Maybe the point of me writing this blog post is to remind myself of the fun side of dating. Below are just two of my many dating stories, both fun in their own way....

Romance In Paris

I have to say, this is probably up there with the most romantic dates of my life. To my date in Paris, if you are reading this – well done, good game.

As I mentioned above, last year I was working on a little social media campaign for a dating app, which basically meant I got to travel Europe and have the most amazing dates/tours in different cities across the continent. Before visiting Paris, I honestly didn’t know what romance was. I find it quite cringe watching the Hollywood romantic clichés play out time after time in the movies but OH MY....when it feels like you are in the movie yourself, its different and now I understand it. From walking through the scenic courtyards, having ice cream on the Pont des Arts bridge, picking flowers by the Seine river – literally, I was in the most cheesiest, romantic movie ever made – but I LOVED it. The pinnacle moment of the movie, the finale if you like, happened just as you would expect. Night time, on the rooftops of Paris overlooking the gleaming city, with the perfect view of the Eiffel Tower. Clock strikes midnight, and Eiffel tower is doing its final light show of the evening. Staring out at the view,

Date: “This would be a real cliché moment to kiss”

Me: (SWOOOOOOOOOOOON).

All praise to my date, I kind of know you must have practised this technique with a lot of other people....but I don’t care. It was perfect, well done, I loved every second of it. Cue: Romantic Overture & Roll Credits.

New York – Run Forest Run!

Have you ever ran out on a date? This happened to me whilst I was in New York. I love this city so much, the energy and the hustle and bustle it is like nowhere else. I actually feel a bit bad about this one. The date was really nice. We met for a drink at a bar in Hells Kitchen, all was well but a couple of drinks later, I knew I didn’t want to continue with the date. It wasn’t really there for me. I think at this point I was still finding my feet with the whole dating thing. I’m British, so I’m polite, I tried to make an excuse, and excused myself from the situation:

Me: “I’m feeling slightly hungry, so I’m going to go and find some food. It’s been lovely meeting you”

Date: “Oh, well I’m hungry too so I’ll come with you....”

Me (reluctantly): “Erm...Okay”

I thought to myself that I might aswel, I was only going to eat on my own anyway.

After finding a nice Deli, I got myself a bite to eat, and my date also got something to eat, before you know it we had finished our sandwiches, and there was no sign of departure.

Me: “I’m really tired now, I think I’m just going to head back to my hotel. It’s been really great meeting you...”

Date: “Oh I’ll will walk with you...”

Me (reluctantly): “Erm...Okay”

I obviously wasn’t tired, and thought that it was just a polite way of concluding the date. Unfortunately, it clearly didn’t work and now I was dreading the walk back. It was a long walk, made to feel even longer by the lack of engaging conversation....On the positive side I learned a lot about bowling that night because that was the sort of riveting conversation that was on offer (sarcasm intended).

Whilst walking, I don’t know why, but I thought it would be a good idea, not to tell this stranger where exactly my hotel was. After a couple of alcoholic drinks, I must of thought I was in an episode of CSI (I suppose it could of got a bit murderous afterall, especially with all that bowling talk, I might of snapped). So somewhere along the way, I pointed out a random hotel and said it was mine.

Me (hoping for some form of finality): “There’s my hotel...”

Date: “I’ll walk you in”

Is that even a thing that someone does? Why me!? Fortunately, as we were walking in, I spotted a bar opposite, so the secret plan became: hide in the hotel, go to the bar. Hesitantly, we both walked in to this very luxurious lobby, where I didn’t want to be, but ended up here due to my absolute Britishness. This was a very posh hotel, at least I looked as though I was doing well for myself.

Surprisingly, the farewell was going rather painlessly easy.

Me: “Cheerio then, nice to meet you”

Date: “Nice to meet you too”

Finally, it was working. With a slightly awkward hug we departed. I wondered further inside the hotel, spent a few extra minutes in the public bathroom’s than necessary, (just to make sure the coast was clear). About ten minutes later, I then made a swift uturn towards the nearby bar, walking out from the hotel, just as I was about to cross the street....

Date: “Billy?”

Me (In a state of Shock): “Oh...Hello, erm... what are you still doing here?”

Date: “Waiting for my friend to pick me up...Where are you going?”

Me (panicking): “I...erm....changed my mind, I’im gunna go to that bar”

Date: (Awkward Silence).

The pain of this silence was just too overwhelming, so I did what any self respecting and ultimately absurd polite person would do....

Me: “Do...you...want....to....come...?”

Date: “Yeah. Sure.”

This was all just becoming too much for me. I was so annoyed at myself. After my ten minute hiatus, I forgot how god awful the conversation was – but within one minute of being reluctantly reunited with my bowling fanatical date, I was reminded. It got to the point where I just couldn’t take anymore. I had to think of some way to get out of this situation, because I just couldn’t waste a night in New York City like this. How was I ever going to get out of it!?!? Flustered with frustration, I entered the rather quiet bar with the date in tow. Suddenly an opportunity presented itself....

Date: “I’m going to the bathroom, here (hands me a $20), get us some drinks”

Me (thinking on my feet): “I’ll get these, don’t worry, my treat”

I knew if I accepted the cash, I couldn’t run out. Not only would I be an arsewhole, I would also be a thief.

Date: “No no, take it, Ill be back in a minute...”

The twenty dollars in my hand, I weigh up my options.....Arsewhole and Thief it was. I watched closely, until the date disappeared to the bathroom, and I literally ran Forrest Gump style, out of the bar. I honestly think I sprinted for a solid fifteen minutes, quite the Adeline rush and such a relief to be out of that situation. To my date – If you are reading this, I am sorry.

There you have just two examples of my current dating life and two occasions where I learned a lesson. First in romance, second in honesty. Perhaps when I have more time I will write more, and believe me, there are so many more stories to tell.

In the meantime I will continue with my search for something more. Many articles and lots of advice later, the general theme seems to be its all just a numbers game. The more dates you go on the more chance there is of finding someone that could turn into something. I might have had no such luck so far, but I suppose I will keep persevering, it’s not like I’m not enjoying the search. **(Insert journey – destination quote)**.

Thanks very much for reading, please subscribe if you haven’t already!

Billyilliam x

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